“Whom the Lord calls, the Lord qualifies.” ~ Thomas S. Monson

This weekend has been great, I have been carrying a couple questions around with me as we have been going to Stake Conference and I thought I would share some of them with everyone:

1. How can I be a better husband?
2. How can I be more faithful in my calling?
3. How can I be a better employee?
4. How can I be a better student?

The biggest counsel that I have received is to have a Christ-centered home. I was able to have multiple examples given from people's personal lives, as well as feeling that I can be better about reading the scriptures, serving my sweet wife, and preparing to be a loving father.

What does it mean to have a Christ-centered home? Does it mean that it has to be immaculately clean? That hymns are playing on the speakers 100% of the time? That only Mormon Messages are played on the computer? Personally, I don't think so.

I give that answer because of a meeting that we had this morning. One of the brethren from the stake presidency made a statement that we can still exercise the priesthood righteously even if our house isn't in order. As long as we are trying our best we can still feel the spirit.

Another quote that I like from President Monson is:

"When the Lord speaks, and a man follows, that man will always be right."

That is probably the best counsel I have heard. And it is truly that simple. As long as we are doing our best to be obedient to what Heavenly Father and the Savior want us to do, repenting when necessary, we will be taken care of just fine.

That is some of the greatest news that we can ever have!

In the kingdom of God, greatness begins with humility and submissiveness. - Richard C. Edgley

I want to start with a disclaimer, I am in no way stating that I am a humble person, and what I am about to write is not a "look at me I am sooooo righteous" post. Because I'm not.

I have had a good lesson in humility this week/weekend. I have been praying to be humble and working through things as much as possible, especially when it is not the most comfortable. I have been having an issue of pride in the workplace, and I have been catching myself.

I think it's interesting how simple it is for Satan to catch us with Pride. I have a theory about why. I think we all know that Satan was prideful before we came to the earth. Hence the decision to rebel against Heavenly Father, a Supreme Being. He thought that he knew better, and wanted to show that. So he proposed a plan that was contrary to Father's plan. I don't think it was because his plan was wrong that he was cast out of Heavenly Father's presence. I think it was because he couldn't stand the idea that he was wrong. So he left, along with all of those that supported him.

That's why it is so easy for him to tempt us. All sin starts with pride. He is an expert in tossing in enough gasoline on the fire (even if it is a little bit at a time). Sooner or later he is going to toss a full 18-wheeler gas tanker on the fire.

When we give into those feelings of pride, and allow that fire to continuously burn, we are truly the only ones that end up getting majorly burnt. You know how there are different fire extinguishers for different situations?

Lake Worth Texas Fire Department 

In his October 2003 talk then Bishop Edgley gives council on how to fight pride. I'm going to refer to them as the spiritual "pride" extinguishers.

The first extinguisher is humility. Bishop Edgley said:

Many of us live or work in an environment where humility is often misunderstood and considered a weakness. Not many corporations or institutions include humility as a value statement or a desired characteristic of their management. Yet as we learn about the workings of God, the power of a humble and submissive spirit becomes apparent. In the kingdom of God, greatness begins with humility and submissiveness. These companion virtues are the first critical steps to opening the doors to the blessings of God and the power of the priesthood. It matters not who we are or how lofty our credentials appear. Humility and submissiveness to the Lord, coupled with a grateful heart, are our strength and our hope.

I know that it is really hard to keep our pride in check, and to maintain a good balance of respecting ourselves and recognizing our strengths and weaknesses. This could be where the submissiveness kicks in. When we are humble we aren't beating ourselves up over what is wrong, we are accepting our weaknesses, and working with Heavenly Father so that we can be better. We are accepting His will to teach us how to become strong with those weak links in our spiritual armor. I also think a big part of humility is to accept everyone else with their mistakes as well. Wether you are on a team, or a companionship, or a marriage. We all make mistakes, and that is OK. 

Ok, now time for extinguisher number two: Gratitude. Again, Bishop Edgley says:

And second, in spite of the difficulties and trials of life, [faithful members] are able to maintain a sense of gratitude for God’s blessings and life’s goodness. Humility and gratitude are truly the twin characteristics of happiness.

Before you read any further, take a couple of seconds to list at least 10 things that you are grateful for. Let me help you do that before you read any further. 

10. (Insert a thing you are grateful for here. No seriously. Do it.)

9. (Insert a thing you are grateful for here.)

8. (Insert a thing you are grateful for here.)

7. (Insert a thing you are grateful for here.)

6. (Insert a thing you are grateful for here.)

5. (Insert a thing you are grateful for here.)

4. (Insert a thing you are grateful for here.)

3. (Insert a thing you are grateful for here.)

2. (Insert a thing you are grateful for here.)

1. Last one! (Insert a thing you are grateful for here.)

Ok so now that you have done that, did you think at all about something negative? I am very grateful for a wonderful wife that goes through that exercise with me when she realizes that I am not feeling very well. I think that is also something that I need to work on. Just thought of the phrase, "When the going gets tough, the tough get going." To me there should also be one that says, "When the going gets tough, the tough get grateful". 

Honestly, taking a moment to think about what is truly important in life helps my life so much. Just now I am thinking about how peaceful my life really is. What happens at work, home, school, church, etc. one day should not define how I feel about it the next day. 

Submitting our will to Heavenly Father's doesn't mean that we walk around and say, "I am so grateful for this terrible experience that I am going through." The Savior, when suffering in the garden of Gethsemane didn't say, "I thank thee for this experience." He said, "if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done." We likewise can tell Father how we are truly feeling, but the key is to be humble. Then it will be easy to recognize and submit ourselves to Heavenly Father's will. Then when we are able to see with His eyes, we will be grateful for what he is trying to teach us. 

So before you step outside, I invite you to examine your spiritual pride extinguishers. If needed make sure that you use them throughout the day. They never run out as long as you work on filling them up and maintain their pressure.  

You may be what you will to be....

Today we had a high councilman come to our sacrament meeting, and at first I was taking care of some administration of the young men on my tablet, when I really got a feeling that I needed to pay more attention to what he was saying. He was talking about covenants, and covered it in a really interesting way.

Instead of giving examples from the scriptures about covenants (which are important, I know) he gave examples of covenants through his life, and through the lives that he has seen first hand. He talked about the covenants we make as members of the church and as members that have callings, and also about covenants we make when we are sealed in the temple for time and all eternity.

With that said let me give you some background. I have recently been feeling that I haven't been doing well at my calling at all. The summer has been a very laid back one as far as working with the Young Men has gone. The Sunday lessons that I have given don't feel like they have been full of the spirit, and the Young Men are already very sparse (just because of the demographics of the membership). Summer vacations have brought a lot of travelling for everyone else, and I just don't feel like anything is really being accomplished. There have been a couple of times where I hear a little voice in my head saying, "You must be doing something wrong. You just can't do it."

But today, I was able to finally feel like I was doing something right.

The speaker talked about callings, and I very much needed it. One of the biggest things that I got out of this part of the talk was this:

"Our fulfillment of callings isn't measured as the world measures it"

I have heard this multiple times in my life, but it really hit home today. Our service in the church is all about converting ourselves and then being able to help others. When I am in my funk, I am prideful and I am not focusing on the most important things. I am focusing on the tangible, not on helping the young men become spiritually aware of who they are, and the wonderful Priesthood that they bear.

Our fulfillment of our callings is based on the diligence and determination that we have to do our best. That is truly what Heavenly Father wants us to do. He asks that we try to be perfect, yes. HOWEVER, He knows that we will falter and make mistakes (see last week's post).

After talking on this for a while the speaker quoted James Allen. And this quote opened my mind, and allowed me to humble myself.

"Of all the beautiful truth pertaining to the soul, none is more gladdening or fruitful of divine promise and confidence than this - that you and I are the master of thought, the molder of character, and the make and shaper of condition, environment and destiny. As a being of power, intelligence, and love, and the lord of our own thought, we hold the key to every situation, and have within ourselves the means of transforming ourselves into what we will."

What a beautiful thought. Too often am I quick to put myself down, and allow myself to wallow in my misery. Instead of being able to learn and move on. Our Heavenly Father has given us the minds that we have to choose what we will do. He has given us Agency to be active in how we will react to things that happen around us.

One more story and I will wrap-up.

On my mission (served in Guatemala) I had a wonderful mission president, and he  helped me learn a crucial lesson for my life.

I was driving in the mission's ford ranger, and I added a fairly large bump on it (although it already had plenty marks of love on it). I felt particularly bad about this one and I asked to speak with him about it. He looked at me after I described what happened, and we had the following conversation (translated to English):

"So Elder, you ran the car into something?"

"Yes Presidente"

"Are you hurt?"

"No Presidente."

"Is anyone else hurt?"

"No Presidente."

"Then Elder Treanor, move on. Everything is ok. Thanks for letting me know."

I was stunned. Here I was someone who had damaged part of the mission's vehicle and I was told just to move on and that everything was ok. I guess he saw how stunned I was because he continued:

"Elder, I say that everything is ok because although the car is important, it isn't as important as you or anyone else. For example, if my family was in a car accident, what would I be worried about? The van, or my family? Don't worry about the small things that don't matter, worry about what really matters and you will be much happier for the rest of your life."

That was and is sound advice for everyone. We need to worry about what matters, what TRULY matters. If a problem is something that you can control, take it the bull by the horns and work on it until you get it in line. If the problem is something you can't control, make a decision to have patience and be calm until the situation is over. And this is something that I am still working on improving. I don't think a day will go by that I have to make a conscious decision to act on that council.

To close, I have been working on quoting a poem from James Allen every time that I get down on myself. It is a very common poem to the David and Tracy Treanor family, and I think my Dad quotes it at least once a month. I never understood what it meant. But I think I am finally catching on. I think it is one of those poems that you have to read when you are ready for it. Otherwise it is just a cool saying.

Will

by James Allen

(from the book, "As A Man Thinketh")

You will be, what you "will" to be.

Let failure find its false content,

In that poor word "environment,"

But spirit scorns it and is free.

It conquers time, it masters space,

It cowls that boastful trickster "chance"

And bids the tyrant "circumstance"

Uncrowned, to take a servant's place.

The human will, that force unseen,

The offspring of a deathless soul,

Can work away at any goal,

Though walls of granite intervene.

Be not impatient and delay,

But wait, as one who understands.

When spirit rises and commands,

The gods are ready to obey.

Deception vs. Being Valiant

Today at church there was a really good lesson about deception (which takes our faith away) and being valiant in the church. There were a couple things that I got from it, and I thought I would share.

To be clear, the lesson started off by talking about who deceives and why. Of course it is because Satan wants us to be like him, at least by being miserable. I mean, think about it. Heavenly Father is perfect, therefore: His plan is perfect too! But because Satan didn't want to follow it (he used his agency) the consequence was that he could not come to earth to receive a body. That would be pretty miserable. (Not sympathizing, just being logical.)

So what does Satan make his personal goal? To make everyone else miserable as well. Because that is what really prideful, selfish, and demanding people do. So where does it all start when people sin? Yep, you got it: Pride.

Pride is dangerous and unstable. But it is something that we all have to work on bridling and guarding ourselves against. When I think of a good example of pride, I think of (wait for it....) Anakin Skywalker. I mean there he is, found in the middle of a barren planet, and is taken in and trained by some of the best Jedi Knights in the Galaxy. However as he gets older he starts to get a little power hungry. To the point that he joins the dark side, and doesn't come to his senses about his choice until he is honestly about to die. But I digress (I have always wanted to say that).

This is what I found (and makes sense to me) about what happens to us if we let pride in the way.

1. We let pride poison our heart/mind.
2. We refuse to recognize the prophet (or other leaders/parents) as the source of revelation for the church/home.
3. We become critical of leaders imperfections
4. We take offense
5. We rationalize disobedience
6. We accept false teachings of the world to be true.

The interesting thing about it, is that these above six don't have to be things like, "Oh my goodness, Tom murdered someone!" or "Can you believe so-and-so wasn't faithful?!" I hope I'm getting my point across, it doesn't have to be a huge thing to have one of the six above items happen to you. Some people have been upset over their name spelling in the mission calls, some over milk and cream.

This is when we have to remember that for ourselves, and every other person that we interact with is (drumroll please!) IMPERFECT!

In the April 2013 General Conference, Jeffery Holland (member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles gave this wonderful talk titled Lord I Believe.) I will only quote a part of it for this blog, and I expect to quote more of it as time goes on.

So be kind regarding human frailty—your own as well as that of those who serve with you in a Church led by volunteer, mortal men and women. Except in the case of His only perfect Begotten Son, imperfect people are all God has ever had to work with. That must be terribly frustrating to Him, but He deals with it. So should we. And when you see imperfection, remember that the limitation is not in the divinity of the work. As one gifted writer has suggested, when the infinite fulness is poured forth, it is not the oil’s fault if there is some loss because finite vessels can’t quite contain it all. Those finite vessels include you and me, so be patient and kind and forgiving. Isn't that the truth?

So since we've talked about what we should do if we want to be deceived, let me make a list for things that we should do to not be deceived.

1. Humble yourself (or be humbled) - (Ether 12:27) Notice that it says "I will show unto them their weakNESS" not "weakNESSES". 

2. Know who the Lord has called to lead the church. - Quick Spanish lesson. There are two types of "know" verbs in Spanish. Saber, which is to have knowledge of; and conocer, which is to personally know and be familiar with (usually used with "knowing" a person). I would submit that if we "knew" the leaders of our ward in both of these senses it would be easier to follow them, and accept that they make mistakes just like us. 

3. Study the scriptures and the doctrine. 

4. Recognize that the things of God ALWAYS edify and/or inspire. 

5. Apply the Lord's pattern for protection from deception. (Steps 1-4 all over again). 

I really enjoyed Sunday school today, and was really grateful for the lesson! (If you couldn't tell.)

Phew!

This has been an interesting and good week. Becca and I decided that we would study Preach My Gospel (PMG) Chapter 6 this week.

This chapter as you all know is probably the most dangerous chapter to read. Not because of what is written down, but the effect that it has on you to pray about wanting to develop some sort of attribute of Jesus Christ. Whenever I visit my parents, and I go to get a drink from the fridge, mom has a magnet right at eye level.

And that is what happened. Haha! Work was tough, and we would both get home a little more stressed than usual. We would study PMG again, or listen/watch a conference talk, and then we would feel better. I want to clarify, it is good to pray for Christ-like attributes. And it helps people grow. Just be careful when you do it. You have been warned.  

So now that I have said that, onto better things. 

Life is going wonderfully! I am so incredibly blessed to have such a wonderful companion. I learn every day from her, and I am grateful that we spend the majority of our time together. 

General Conference was great! I have been trying to revisit the talks as much as I can, to help with remembering principles that have been taught. From what I remember, there was a lot of talks based on obedience, using agency and accepting yourself for who you are. I wonder what is ahead of us in the world in the next six months. 

I want to share one with everyone that I talked about today in church. It was in the Priesthood Session by President Ucthdorf. I don't know what exactly it is about the way that he speaks, but for some reason I really connect with him. 

He talks about four titles that all men in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints have in common. Son of Heavenly Father, Disciple of Jesus Christ, Healer of Souls, and Heir of Eternal Life. 

Even though all of the titles are important, I want to talk about the first one.

Son of Heavenly Father

Now, I am going to extend this to the Daughters of Heavenly Father as well. 

I truly believe that we came from Heaven, and we lived with Heavenly Father. I believe that he knows us personally, and that he misses us. He has given each of us so many blessings in our lives and He wishes that everything could go smoothly in them. 

However He also knows that we need to grow. So he has given us earthly bodies to keep our spiritual bodies safe. We are more than just some accident that came together by chance. We are Princes, and Princesses of a King.

Satan will try to keep us from thinking that way. He will do everything that he can to confuse, distract, upset, and divert us from remembering who we are and the things that we can achieve.

It's like the story of King Louis XVI. This is a description of the young king by Elaine S. Dalton of the previous Young Women's General Presidency of the church:

As a young man, he was kidnapped by evil men who had dethroned his father, the king. These men knew that if they could destroy him morally, he would not be heir to the throne. For six months they subjected him to every vile thing life had to offer, and yet he never yielded under pressure. This puzzled his captors, and after doing everything they could think of, they asked him why he had such great moral strength. His reply was simple. He said, “I cannot do what you ask, for I was born to be a king.”

If we could all have that power, Satan would not be able to overcome us. Let's remember that we are all children of our Heavenly Father. Don't give up! Keep on going!

Here is President Ucthdorf's talk from the last conference:

The Old Man is Snoring.....

So.... I think it goes without really saying, but I snore. Which actually isn't all that uncommon for males. But I hate it. I hate it because my wonderful wife suffers from it. I sleep perfectly fine which I feel terrible for.

So yesterday I wake up and I want to get the problem solved! I want to be the best husband ever and make one of the ideas work. Here are a couple that I read about:

Tip 1. Sleep on your side. - I already do. My issue is that I don't stay on my side. I have tried using a pillow in front and behind me to keep me from rolling over.

Tip 2. Get a humidifier - It is already kind of humid in the room, and I really don't want to spend fifty bucks on something like that. Though I did see a really cool elephant one in the store the other day. Though I am pretty sure of the look I would get if I came home with one of those...

Tip 3. Go get a sleep test - which probably would help, but I don't think it's apnea because there isn't any wheezing or choking, it's more of just heavy breath when it's not snoring.

Tip 4. Sew a tennis ball to the back of a shirt - which I tried and I'll explain below (whole point of the post).

Tip 5. Do throat exercises (or sing) for 30 minutes a day - This is to help fight against your throat narrowing, but I've realized I don't really work in an environment where this is appropriate.

Tip 6. Sleep strips - They work, I think? They also help get rid of any blackheads that might be on your nose as well, mainly because it rips a couple of layers off your nose when you take it off.

Tip 7. White noise machines - Work for me, but not for her. Which is the whole point of trying to take care of the snoring problem.

Tips 7,8, & 9 - LOSE WEIGHT - Which if anyone really knows me, is sort of a battle. But I am trying to fight it as best as possible.

After reading all of those, I thought to myself, "Self, what can you do today that would stop your snoring?" To which I decided to sew a tennis ball to the back of my shirt.

I got one of my old church shirts, and went to work last night. Before we went to bed I put on the shirt, and it was uncomfortable to wear walking around (I was trying to get used to it as much as possible). And like the loving Quasimodo, I the loving tennis-back of Dallas Texas, was so happy that I could help my wife. I even wrote in my journal about it. We prayed and then I was off to sleep.

Last night was probably the worst nights sleep that I have ever had. When I would roll over onto my back, BOOM! I was up again... So finally somehow I had managed to fall asleep when to my surprise, I would roll over. Again. And this process repeated throughout the night. But did I take the shirt off? No! I was going to be the wonderful husband, who helped his wife stay asleep throughout the night because he didn't snore.

Riiiiight.

Turns out because of the blasted tennis ball, I was tossing and turning all night. And even though we had the white noise app on, my wife could still hear everything (it's the thought that counts right?).

So. I am enlisting the help of anyone this reaches. Husbands be prepared because you are about to be put on blast:

I am trying to find the best remedy to snoring. I don't want the "suggested" ideas, because I believe the people that write those have never used them. If they did, they are probably chuckling every time they wake up. Thinking to themselves, "I wonder what sucker had to go through tip 2, or 5".

I want the tested and tried. I will do everything. Except for putting something like peanut butter on my feet. That would just be gross. But seriously, I will do anything as long as it comes from a credible source of it's success. 

Keep moving forward

I want to tell a fun little story, and it starts in May of this year. Or does it?

I was sitting behind my friend Derek who was sitting next to a cute girl. 

President Taylor introduced her to the branch last month? I think her name is Rebecca? I should try to talk with her today. 

I decided to pull the whole, "strike-up-a-conversation-with-your-bud-to-really-talk-to-the-girl-next-to-him" thing. And it was an epic fail. As I was talking with Derek I remember saying to her, "I don't think I've introduced myself, my name is Cleave" Smooth right?

Nope. She just looked at me and said, "Hey." 

I felt like the last guy to jump out of a diving plane on fire, only to realize that everyone else had taken all of the parachutes. 

"Ok," I thought, "She definitely does not want to talk to you."

I'm not one to try to sell something to someone that isn't interested, so I just said something to the effect of, "nice to meet you" and I went on. 

Fast forward to mid July. I was directing the music at church for the main meeting in the chapel, and there she was again. And she was looking at me while doing so. Something seemed different, but I tried talking myself out of it. 

Everyone is looking at you dude, you're directing the music. Don't be dumb, she's not interested. 

As the meeting went on, something said, "Ask her on a date." 

What?! You remember how she shot me down before. 

Ask her on a date. 

Why? 

(Silence)

Fine, I'll think about it. If I run into her, I'll talk to her and see how things go. 

And that was that. I was thinking about it through the meeting, and I couldn't shake the feeling/voice that I kept on hearing. 

The meeting ended, and I had to go set up a class while everyone else remained for the opening exercises of the next meeting. I was almost done with setting everything up, and it came back.

Go talk with her, and ask her on a date. 

This time it was my turn to be silent and really listen, to make sure that it wasn't just my feelings. 

Ask her on a date. 

So I went back to where everyone else was, afraid that I had missed her (earlier in the year I noticed that she would leave early from this meeting). But there she was sitting in the middle section of the chapel. As everyone was starting to leave, I started talking to a couple from the branch and she walked by me. I stopped quickly talking with them, and asked her for a moment of her time. Said goodbye to the couple, and then started talking with her. 

"Are you busy this week?"

"Um, not particularly" 

"I'd like to take you on a date this Friday." 

Please be available!

"What date is that?" 

Think quick, what is it?

"The twentieth."

(Silence)

"Yeah. That should work."

I then took her on a date to dinner, the Dallas Arts Museum and Italian Ice Cream afterwards. It was a lot of fun, and I learned that she prefers Becca, likes circle doorways, and is a purist with her chocolate. 

From there we went on other dates, one where we went to the Temple and did separate work there. As we were driving back home she asked me an interesting question. 

"Do you remember our first date?" 

To which I quickly responded, "Yep, we went to the Museum a couple of weeks ago."

I could see something wasn't right. 

Uh oh, that wasn't it. 

She then described a date that we went on six years earlier, to which I had to admit that I did not have any recollection of it. I felt terrible, but so grateful that she had given me a second chance. A second chance to get to know me and who I am now. 

We went on more dates, and spent even more time together. I told her that I loved her, and she said that she loved me as well. I proposed on September 20, 2012 and have been happy that I did. 

The rest is history. We have spent the past couple of months getting ready for our Wedding this December. I have been realizing that I am so blessed with her in my life. We have two weeks to go until the big day, and then we have forever to spend with each other.