Deception vs. Being Valiant

Today at church there was a really good lesson about deception (which takes our faith away) and being valiant in the church. There were a couple things that I got from it, and I thought I would share.

To be clear, the lesson started off by talking about who deceives and why. Of course it is because Satan wants us to be like him, at least by being miserable. I mean, think about it. Heavenly Father is perfect, therefore: His plan is perfect too! But because Satan didn't want to follow it (he used his agency) the consequence was that he could not come to earth to receive a body. That would be pretty miserable. (Not sympathizing, just being logical.)

So what does Satan make his personal goal? To make everyone else miserable as well. Because that is what really prideful, selfish, and demanding people do. So where does it all start when people sin? Yep, you got it: Pride.

Pride is dangerous and unstable. But it is something that we all have to work on bridling and guarding ourselves against. When I think of a good example of pride, I think of (wait for it....) Anakin Skywalker. I mean there he is, found in the middle of a barren planet, and is taken in and trained by some of the best Jedi Knights in the Galaxy. However as he gets older he starts to get a little power hungry. To the point that he joins the dark side, and doesn't come to his senses about his choice until he is honestly about to die. But I digress (I have always wanted to say that).

This is what I found (and makes sense to me) about what happens to us if we let pride in the way.

1. We let pride poison our heart/mind.
2. We refuse to recognize the prophet (or other leaders/parents) as the source of revelation for the church/home.
3. We become critical of leaders imperfections
4. We take offense
5. We rationalize disobedience
6. We accept false teachings of the world to be true.

The interesting thing about it, is that these above six don't have to be things like, "Oh my goodness, Tom murdered someone!" or "Can you believe so-and-so wasn't faithful?!" I hope I'm getting my point across, it doesn't have to be a huge thing to have one of the six above items happen to you. Some people have been upset over their name spelling in the mission calls, some over milk and cream.

This is when we have to remember that for ourselves, and every other person that we interact with is (drumroll please!) IMPERFECT!

In the April 2013 General Conference, Jeffery Holland (member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles gave this wonderful talk titled Lord I Believe.) I will only quote a part of it for this blog, and I expect to quote more of it as time goes on.

So be kind regarding human frailty—your own as well as that of those who serve with you in a Church led by volunteer, mortal men and women. Except in the case of His only perfect Begotten Son, imperfect people are all God has ever had to work with. That must be terribly frustrating to Him, but He deals with it. So should we. And when you see imperfection, remember that the limitation is not in the divinity of the work. As one gifted writer has suggested, when the infinite fulness is poured forth, it is not the oil’s fault if there is some loss because finite vessels can’t quite contain it all. Those finite vessels include you and me, so be patient and kind and forgiving. Isn't that the truth?

So since we've talked about what we should do if we want to be deceived, let me make a list for things that we should do to not be deceived.

1. Humble yourself (or be humbled) - (Ether 12:27) Notice that it says "I will show unto them their weakNESS" not "weakNESSES". 

2. Know who the Lord has called to lead the church. - Quick Spanish lesson. There are two types of "know" verbs in Spanish. Saber, which is to have knowledge of; and conocer, which is to personally know and be familiar with (usually used with "knowing" a person). I would submit that if we "knew" the leaders of our ward in both of these senses it would be easier to follow them, and accept that they make mistakes just like us. 

3. Study the scriptures and the doctrine. 

4. Recognize that the things of God ALWAYS edify and/or inspire. 

5. Apply the Lord's pattern for protection from deception. (Steps 1-4 all over again). 

I really enjoyed Sunday school today, and was really grateful for the lesson! (If you couldn't tell.)

Phew!

This has been an interesting and good week. Becca and I decided that we would study Preach My Gospel (PMG) Chapter 6 this week.

This chapter as you all know is probably the most dangerous chapter to read. Not because of what is written down, but the effect that it has on you to pray about wanting to develop some sort of attribute of Jesus Christ. Whenever I visit my parents, and I go to get a drink from the fridge, mom has a magnet right at eye level.

And that is what happened. Haha! Work was tough, and we would both get home a little more stressed than usual. We would study PMG again, or listen/watch a conference talk, and then we would feel better. I want to clarify, it is good to pray for Christ-like attributes. And it helps people grow. Just be careful when you do it. You have been warned.  

So now that I have said that, onto better things. 

Life is going wonderfully! I am so incredibly blessed to have such a wonderful companion. I learn every day from her, and I am grateful that we spend the majority of our time together. 

General Conference was great! I have been trying to revisit the talks as much as I can, to help with remembering principles that have been taught. From what I remember, there was a lot of talks based on obedience, using agency and accepting yourself for who you are. I wonder what is ahead of us in the world in the next six months. 

I want to share one with everyone that I talked about today in church. It was in the Priesthood Session by President Ucthdorf. I don't know what exactly it is about the way that he speaks, but for some reason I really connect with him. 

He talks about four titles that all men in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints have in common. Son of Heavenly Father, Disciple of Jesus Christ, Healer of Souls, and Heir of Eternal Life. 

Even though all of the titles are important, I want to talk about the first one.

Son of Heavenly Father

Now, I am going to extend this to the Daughters of Heavenly Father as well. 

I truly believe that we came from Heaven, and we lived with Heavenly Father. I believe that he knows us personally, and that he misses us. He has given each of us so many blessings in our lives and He wishes that everything could go smoothly in them. 

However He also knows that we need to grow. So he has given us earthly bodies to keep our spiritual bodies safe. We are more than just some accident that came together by chance. We are Princes, and Princesses of a King.

Satan will try to keep us from thinking that way. He will do everything that he can to confuse, distract, upset, and divert us from remembering who we are and the things that we can achieve.

It's like the story of King Louis XVI. This is a description of the young king by Elaine S. Dalton of the previous Young Women's General Presidency of the church:

As a young man, he was kidnapped by evil men who had dethroned his father, the king. These men knew that if they could destroy him morally, he would not be heir to the throne. For six months they subjected him to every vile thing life had to offer, and yet he never yielded under pressure. This puzzled his captors, and after doing everything they could think of, they asked him why he had such great moral strength. His reply was simple. He said, “I cannot do what you ask, for I was born to be a king.”

If we could all have that power, Satan would not be able to overcome us. Let's remember that we are all children of our Heavenly Father. Don't give up! Keep on going!

Here is President Ucthdorf's talk from the last conference:

The Old Man is Snoring.....

So.... I think it goes without really saying, but I snore. Which actually isn't all that uncommon for males. But I hate it. I hate it because my wonderful wife suffers from it. I sleep perfectly fine which I feel terrible for.

So yesterday I wake up and I want to get the problem solved! I want to be the best husband ever and make one of the ideas work. Here are a couple that I read about:

Tip 1. Sleep on your side. - I already do. My issue is that I don't stay on my side. I have tried using a pillow in front and behind me to keep me from rolling over.

Tip 2. Get a humidifier - It is already kind of humid in the room, and I really don't want to spend fifty bucks on something like that. Though I did see a really cool elephant one in the store the other day. Though I am pretty sure of the look I would get if I came home with one of those...

Tip 3. Go get a sleep test - which probably would help, but I don't think it's apnea because there isn't any wheezing or choking, it's more of just heavy breath when it's not snoring.

Tip 4. Sew a tennis ball to the back of a shirt - which I tried and I'll explain below (whole point of the post).

Tip 5. Do throat exercises (or sing) for 30 minutes a day - This is to help fight against your throat narrowing, but I've realized I don't really work in an environment where this is appropriate.

Tip 6. Sleep strips - They work, I think? They also help get rid of any blackheads that might be on your nose as well, mainly because it rips a couple of layers off your nose when you take it off.

Tip 7. White noise machines - Work for me, but not for her. Which is the whole point of trying to take care of the snoring problem.

Tips 7,8, & 9 - LOSE WEIGHT - Which if anyone really knows me, is sort of a battle. But I am trying to fight it as best as possible.

After reading all of those, I thought to myself, "Self, what can you do today that would stop your snoring?" To which I decided to sew a tennis ball to the back of my shirt.

I got one of my old church shirts, and went to work last night. Before we went to bed I put on the shirt, and it was uncomfortable to wear walking around (I was trying to get used to it as much as possible). And like the loving Quasimodo, I the loving tennis-back of Dallas Texas, was so happy that I could help my wife. I even wrote in my journal about it. We prayed and then I was off to sleep.

Last night was probably the worst nights sleep that I have ever had. When I would roll over onto my back, BOOM! I was up again... So finally somehow I had managed to fall asleep when to my surprise, I would roll over. Again. And this process repeated throughout the night. But did I take the shirt off? No! I was going to be the wonderful husband, who helped his wife stay asleep throughout the night because he didn't snore.

Riiiiight.

Turns out because of the blasted tennis ball, I was tossing and turning all night. And even though we had the white noise app on, my wife could still hear everything (it's the thought that counts right?).

So. I am enlisting the help of anyone this reaches. Husbands be prepared because you are about to be put on blast:

I am trying to find the best remedy to snoring. I don't want the "suggested" ideas, because I believe the people that write those have never used them. If they did, they are probably chuckling every time they wake up. Thinking to themselves, "I wonder what sucker had to go through tip 2, or 5".

I want the tested and tried. I will do everything. Except for putting something like peanut butter on my feet. That would just be gross. But seriously, I will do anything as long as it comes from a credible source of it's success. 

Keep moving forward

I want to tell a fun little story, and it starts in May of this year. Or does it?

I was sitting behind my friend Derek who was sitting next to a cute girl. 

President Taylor introduced her to the branch last month? I think her name is Rebecca? I should try to talk with her today. 

I decided to pull the whole, "strike-up-a-conversation-with-your-bud-to-really-talk-to-the-girl-next-to-him" thing. And it was an epic fail. As I was talking with Derek I remember saying to her, "I don't think I've introduced myself, my name is Cleave" Smooth right?

Nope. She just looked at me and said, "Hey." 

I felt like the last guy to jump out of a diving plane on fire, only to realize that everyone else had taken all of the parachutes. 

"Ok," I thought, "She definitely does not want to talk to you."

I'm not one to try to sell something to someone that isn't interested, so I just said something to the effect of, "nice to meet you" and I went on. 

Fast forward to mid July. I was directing the music at church for the main meeting in the chapel, and there she was again. And she was looking at me while doing so. Something seemed different, but I tried talking myself out of it. 

Everyone is looking at you dude, you're directing the music. Don't be dumb, she's not interested. 

As the meeting went on, something said, "Ask her on a date." 

What?! You remember how she shot me down before. 

Ask her on a date. 

Why? 

(Silence)

Fine, I'll think about it. If I run into her, I'll talk to her and see how things go. 

And that was that. I was thinking about it through the meeting, and I couldn't shake the feeling/voice that I kept on hearing. 

The meeting ended, and I had to go set up a class while everyone else remained for the opening exercises of the next meeting. I was almost done with setting everything up, and it came back.

Go talk with her, and ask her on a date. 

This time it was my turn to be silent and really listen, to make sure that it wasn't just my feelings. 

Ask her on a date. 

So I went back to where everyone else was, afraid that I had missed her (earlier in the year I noticed that she would leave early from this meeting). But there she was sitting in the middle section of the chapel. As everyone was starting to leave, I started talking to a couple from the branch and she walked by me. I stopped quickly talking with them, and asked her for a moment of her time. Said goodbye to the couple, and then started talking with her. 

"Are you busy this week?"

"Um, not particularly" 

"I'd like to take you on a date this Friday." 

Please be available!

"What date is that?" 

Think quick, what is it?

"The twentieth."

(Silence)

"Yeah. That should work."

I then took her on a date to dinner, the Dallas Arts Museum and Italian Ice Cream afterwards. It was a lot of fun, and I learned that she prefers Becca, likes circle doorways, and is a purist with her chocolate. 

From there we went on other dates, one where we went to the Temple and did separate work there. As we were driving back home she asked me an interesting question. 

"Do you remember our first date?" 

To which I quickly responded, "Yep, we went to the Museum a couple of weeks ago."

I could see something wasn't right. 

Uh oh, that wasn't it. 

She then described a date that we went on six years earlier, to which I had to admit that I did not have any recollection of it. I felt terrible, but so grateful that she had given me a second chance. A second chance to get to know me and who I am now. 

We went on more dates, and spent even more time together. I told her that I loved her, and she said that she loved me as well. I proposed on September 20, 2012 and have been happy that I did. 

The rest is history. We have spent the past couple of months getting ready for our Wedding this December. I have been realizing that I am so blessed with her in my life. We have two weeks to go until the big day, and then we have forever to spend with each other. 

Things that matter most...

 In family relationships love is really spelled t-i-m-e, time. Taking time for each other is the key for harmony at home. We talk with, rather than about, each other. We learn from each other, and we appreciate our differences as well as our commonalities. - Dieter F. Uchtdorf ("Of Things That Matter Most" October 2010)

I have seen this concept exercised this weekend. What we thought was going to be a very peaceful and calm weekend (and week), has blown up in our faces as a family. Haha! My Grandma had to go to the hospital on Sunday (everything is fine now) for a Tachycardia. That is where the Heart is on overdrive. She had been up all night Saturday, and Sunday morning tracking her pulse, getting ready to go to a Carenow. Mom took her to the Hospital first thing Sunday morning. Dad is there right now, after trading spots with Mom yesterday.

They have missed out on a lot of sleep (those Hospital pull-out beds only get so comfortable), but they would rather miss out on sleep than leave my Grandma alone.

So, when I saw Mom yesterday her plan was that after dinner she was just going to bed, due to the fact that she just started a really early morning shift at her part-time job. I left after dinner for my Home Evening Group, thinking that everything was going to be A-OK.

While I was at Home Evening, I was able to talk with a leader about relationships. I feel really good with what he told me and I realized even more so the Statement made by President Uchtdorf (click here for a bio) is very true.

I didn't get home until about 11PM (We were watching the NCAA Champion game, for all you UK fans out there congrats!), and I realized that the light in my mom's room was on. I knocked on the door asking if everything was ok, and both her and my little sister asked that I not come in.

Turns out my mom had been up all night with my sister working on a problem that she has. (Again, everything is fine :0) Just a small bump in the road). And my Mom was up until 2AM with my sister. That is love. Giving up everything that you have to help another that you "love".

I think this is partly why I am the way I am. I have seen my parents give selflessly of their time for one another, and for us as their children. I am so grateful of the examples that they have set forth for us. I think it's just been second nature to me that when I develop a friendship or a relationship, I want to spend time with that person as much as I can.

Now, on the flip side, I do know that there is a healthy separation between friends, and relationships. I saw a freaky commercial for a movie about a crazy roommate that did everything she could to be around her roommate. I DON'T want to sound like that. I know that it takes time and effort to build wonderful relationships, but I think it needs to be mutual on both sides in order for it to truly bloom.

So. Moral of the story, if you love somebody, or have strong feelings for them: let them know. Thomas S. Monson (click here for a bio) said, "Often we assume that they must know how much we love them, but we should never assume. We should let them know." (Video below).

I am grateful for the love which I have felt in my life from my dear ones. Both in family relationships and in friendships, and in relationships. Do not forget to cherish those that are near to you. 

Time

I must govern the clock, not be governed by it. - Golda Meir

Let me set the stage for the video you're about to see. In a 1950s (ish) setting there is a Mechanic named Walter (Tim Robbins). One day a car pulls in to be serviced driven by a couple that is engaged to be married. But Walter falls in love with Catherine, the engaged (played by Meg Ryan). She forgets her watch at the mechanic shop, and he (having taken her address to call a cab) takes it to her home. Only to find that Albert Einstein (Walter Matthau) is her uncle. The following ensues while he waits:

Happiness comes from mastering what we can do with our time. Not just how we endure it, nor is it about escaping the time we are provided with. Pardon the advertisement after the video. But it was too good to pass up. I think this expresses something really important. It is a personal belief of mine that time is way too important to mess things up, or not spend it wisely. While we are here on this Earth, growing and learning should be are constant and daily goal. We should enjoy all the things that happen to us, yes even the bad things, and look for the best in everything. 

I was reading a talk recently about this specific subject:

"Time is never for sale; time is a commodity that cannot, try as you may, be bought at any store for any price. Yet when time is wisely used, its value is immeasurable. On any given day we are all allocated, without cost, the same number of minutes and hours to use, and we soon learn, as the familiar hymn so carefully teaches, “Time flies on wings of lightning; we cannot call it back” (“Improve the Shining Moments,” Hymns, no. 226). What time we have we must use wisely. President Brigham Young said, “We are all indebted to God for the ability to use time to advantage, and he will require of us a strict account of [its] disposition” (Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Brigham Young [1997], 286)." -- Elder Ian S. Ardern "A Time to Prepare" (October 2011 General Conference)

It is so important that we think about how we spend our time. 

Joshua 24:15 defines (in a broad sense) how we should spend our days: 

"And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."

This to me defines part of why I came to earth almost 23 years ago. I came to this Earth to gain 1. A Body and 2. Experiences to help me grow Faith in the Lord and the Plan of Happiness that He and Our Father created before we came here. Life is more than just existing. It is growing, and because we are only natural, getting up after we fall down. 

To quote the hymn, just like Elder Ardern, "Time flies on wings of lightning; we cannot call it back" (“Improve the Shining Moments,” Hymns, no. 226). 

Good People

"I know in my heart that man is good, that what is right will always eventually triumph, and there is purpose and worth to each and every life." ~ Ronald Reagan

This is a great quote, I think as humans we are really hard on others, but mainly ourselves.

Sure life can be tough, and we make mistakes. I think there isn't one day that I haven't made at least one mistake. But that is why I am grateful for the Atonement of Jesus Christ. As I learn how to live life, and how to follow Him and Our Father, I am so grateful that even when I make mistakes there is a way for me to repent and be clean of all the past mistakes I have made.

My life has never really been hard. Honestly. Things have always fallen in place for me, even when I think they are going completely wrong. Lately I have had a huge change in how I look at life, and others. I have seen the quote above. I have seen how all people, are good people. And that "what is right will always eventually triumph".

Yesterday I was driving home from church when something amazing happened. I was listening to an old familiar song from a Seminary CD (something they give us when we are teenagers). I looked up at the sky and it was turning from bluish colors, to cream, to orange, and finally to red. It was probably the best feeling of peace that I have had in a long time. It was almost like He was saying, "You're doing the right thing. You're getting to where I need you to be at this moment."

I turned off the music and drove in silence to my house. I wanted more than anything to keep that feeling. There aren't many other words that can describe that feeling.

I invite you to drive without music one day. By yourself. Just go down the street, and travel from Point A to Point B thinking about things. Look at the beautiful that is life. Love everyone that you come in contact with.